The Path to Success
Children riding bikes.
With the arrival of Fall, I hope that you and your family are settling gently into the cooler season.
What I've Been Thinking About
Recently, I was prompted to reflect on the idea of success. Many of the parents I've had the privilege of working with over the years want their children to do well academically at school. I myself was brought up in a family that placed a high value on academic achievement so I can relate to this.
I'm guessing that the thinking behind this is that doing well academically increases the chances of a well-paying job. That in turn increases the likelihood of being able to afford the comforts of modern life, finding a suitable partner and having a family. The assumption is that this will result in a happy and successful life.
And yet, many of us know individuals who have all of the outward signs of "success" who seem to be deeply unhappy.
What Does Success Mean to You?
The question that we need to ask ourselves is what it takes to live a good life. For me, success comes down to meaning and contribution. Cultivating a life of meaning and contribution requires much more than academic achievement. Instead, it requires strong social and emotional skills. Self-awareness, emotional regulation, empathy, compassion, resilience, creativity, critical thinking, collaborative learning and having a growth mindset are all signs of high EQ (emotional intelligence).
EQ vs IQ
It's our EQ that determines our quality of life to a large extent because it affects every kind of relationship we have, whether it's with ourselves or with others. And having a high EQ also supports academic achievement (though the reverse is not true).
Beyond the music at Thrive, there is an enormous emphasis on enhancing the EQ in all of our families, from our youngest students to their grown ups. This is done in our LUMINA programme for our piano students, weekly parent emails and our Empowered Parenting Workshops. It's also woven intentionally into every single class whenever a teaching opportunity presents itself.
Ensuring a Sustainable Future Begins Today
It turns out that positive or conscious parenting also requires a high EQ. According to Dr Laura Markham (founder of the popular parenting website ahaparenting.com and pioneer of Peaceful Parenting), the 3 pillars of a more peaceful home are self-regulation, connection and emotion-coaching. And it all begins with you, the parent. So if you find yourself frustrated or losing it with your child, you will always find the solution within these 3 pillars.
This Fall, I'm enrolled in Dr Markham's Peaceful Parent Educator Training because over the years, I've found myself gradually transitioning into this role. I believe that being a parent is the most important job there is and the future of our planet depends on you. I also believe that we need a whole lot more support for parents. As I've deepened my own knowledge in this critically important field, I've also found that this knowledge applies to all of us regardless of whether or not we have children.
Reparenting Ourselves
No matter our upbringing, we all have inner child work to do and this requires reparenting ourselves. It's transformational work and it calls upon each of us to dig deep. None of us can do this alone and this is why it will continue to be a big part of what we do at Thrive in our ongoing commitment to help empower each of our families.
